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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27526327">An Ending is Just Another Beginning</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elvwin/pseuds/Elvwin'>Elvwin</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Blood and Injury, Dimension Travel, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Familiars, Fluff and Angst, Gen, I have no control over my characters, I may do an attempt at humor, Magic, Magic Creatures, Minor Violence, My First Fanfic, Nature Magic, Original Character(s), Rebirth, Reincarnation, Telepathy, Temporary Character Death, Time Travel, Vallen swears a lot, Wish me luck, creature magic, kind of</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 02:48:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,869</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27526327</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elvwin/pseuds/Elvwin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Something bad always happens when you least expect it, and when you think "hey things are going pretty good" that's when you know something will happen to ruin it. Did you just get a great job you love? Well fuck you the company will go bankrupt and fire you to save money. How about a lovely house that you just bought? As it turns out it was build on a sink hole and it collapsed into the ground while you were out shopping.</p><p>So it was only to be expected when a happy first year college student who has worked hard to get where he is gets fucked over <i>massively</i>. </p><p>At least there might be a light at the end of the tunnel.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>I don't know yet I'm just going to go with the flow, a relationship might happen later</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The End</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is my first attempt at a fic so please take it easy on me, and if you see any mistakes please don't hesitate to point them out since I don't have a beta to look over my work (I kinda suck at grammar but my spelling is normally good enough). </p><p>I don't have an update schedule I just want to write a fic to get some stress off my shoulders and for fun, but I absolutely do not want to abandon this fic so even if it takes a while for an update to come out expect a chapter eventually.  </p><p>Also if anyone has ideas or theories pop them down in the comments I'd love to read them, and if I use an idea I like I'll credit you. :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The day was as normal as it could be, and it followed a lax routine like all the others before it. Vallen Greyson set a few alarms the day before since he would fall asleep right after an alarm goes off most of the time. Mornings were a recurring war of attrition between responsibility and a need to go back to sleep. Sadly he would force himself out of bed to head to class almost every time much to the protest of his tired eyes.</p><p>Don’t get him wrong he loves to learn and he likes his college he just likes to sleep a little more.</p><p>That morning he got out of bed, got ready, avoided running into his roommate during his morning routine, and then headed off to class. Classes as always were boring, but informative as usual as he dozed in and out of consciousness.</p><p>Walking out the door after class he planned to read the notes of what he slept through, and he checked what was for lunch on his phone to see which dining center he would like to go to. And as it turned out the center closest to him had some chicken noodle soup today, and since he had a case of the sniffles that sounded great.</p><p>So with high spirits and thoughts of warm soup he headed off to get some lunch. </p><p>And like everyday he popped in his earbuds to listen to music on the walk over to get some food and checking the road both ways before he crossed. In the middle of his walk his music was interrupted by an ad so he went to skip it as it was annoying as all hell to have his music interrupted.</p><p>Looking down at his phone he quickly skipped the ad to get his jams back on and continue his walk. But sadly as he was on his phone in the middle of the street he didn’t notice the car coming closer to him, and once he finally noticed he didn’t even have time to flinch as he was ran over.</p><p>Lying on the ground with limbs pointing in all the wrong directions and a pounding headache after it hit the concrete he sluggishly thought ‘This really hurts’ before passing out due to blood loss and pain.</p>
<p></p><div>
  <p> *** </p>
</div>‘What the fuck is going on’ was the first thing he thought when he came to. The second thought was ‘why can’t I feel my limbs… or anything really’. He started to think about all the possibilities of becoming paralyzed from the neck down, maybe he had become a quadruple amputee, and many other thoughts spiraling down quickly into all the things that could have happened while he was passed out.<p>A small light made itself known in the middle of his spiraling thoughts that he quickly took note of.</p><p>‘Oh, am I dead?’</p><p>He tried to look around but he could only focus on the light in front of him.</p><p>‘I feel like I should be panicking, but I am oddly calm about this. Maybe it’s an after effect of dying?’</p><p>With a mental shrug since he did not have a body to do so he started to move forward towards the light. In the middle of moving forward he felt an odd pull from the center of his consciousness. Or maybe it was his soul? Either way he felt a tug as he was moving forward and was reasonably a bit worried about this odd feeling.</p><p>He moved forwards as quickly as he could, but the tugging just got stronger and stronger the closer he got towards the light. It felt like he was trying to swim away from a vortex in the water slowly getting pulled into it despite his best efforts.</p><p>With only a small distance between him and the light he was abruptly sucked into the vortex and because of this he was pulled away from the light. ‘Oh fuck’ was what he thought before blacking out for a second time.</p>
<p></p><div>
  <p> *** </p>
</div>He came into consciousness in calm ebbing waves until all of a sudden what had happened hit him like a truck, and forced him into waking up with a jolt.<p>Looking around There were tall trees with soft looking moss on it, birds were singing in the background and making rustling noises when they hopped branch to branch in the trees, and sunlight filtering through the trees making it all look picturesque. He would have loved to explore this beautiful place if he wasn’t so fucking confused.</p><p>Weirdly enough there were also odd looking colors swirling around the air, in the plants, and in the animals. Each color was more than just a color but it was hard to explain it had textures, feelings, scents, an opaque or translucent look to it, and many varying descriptions with all the different colors. </p><p>Really it was more than just a color but it was the best word for it at the moment.</p><p>This was not where he should be right now. Right? He was just run over on his college campus so he should be at a hospital, in an ambulance (it hurts just thinking about the possible ambulance bill), or bleeding on a road. So why in the nine hells was he in a strange forest? </p><p>Realizing he should be in horrifying pain with his broken bones and such he looked at his body to see what was going on. </p><p>‘Ah, well this is umm... What?’</p><p>With no real words to express his confusion he just kept looking down with the mental equivalent of a blue screen going on in his head. His confusion was caused by not having a body which would baffle anyone after living an entire life having a body.</p><p>He probably should have noticed he wasn’t feeling the plants underneath him, that he wasn’t breathing, or blinking. Sue him alright he was in shock with everything going on give him some slack.</p><p>‘Am I dead or is something else going on? I could have sworn I was pulled away from the light. If I was pulled away from the light I must have been resuscitated, so why am I chilling in a forest without a body?’</p><p>Mentally sighing he thought he should try and move and find some civilization or some answers to his messed up situation, and after that maybe find a nice comfortable place to have a little breakdown since now was not the time. But believe him he was extremely close to just breaking down and freaking out about <i>not having a body.</i> He was fine, for now he could do this.</p><p>As it turns out trying to move without a body was harder than he thought. Maybe if he moved like a jelly fish that would work since he does have something to call a body in the very loosest of terms though it was just a clear mass of color. Don’t ask how clear is a color since it isn’t, but it feels like the colors swirling around him. Just clear and hard to sense. If it wasn’t a part of him he wouldn't have noticed his odd color at all.</p><p>With flailing motions that feel akin to a baby trying to swim he starts to move forwards, granted it was slower than what he wanted but he was moving! Now to find his way out of this forest. When he moved forward through the swirling colors he felt like he could get a light grip on it. He could use this to push off of. This is great! It was a bit hard to grasp but he’ll learn how to do it better while on the move.</p><p>While flinging himself around like a demented pinball he came to the edge of the forest, and as luck would have it he was next to a road he could follow.</p>
<p></p><div>
  <p> *** </p>
</div>After a long and boring time of doing nothing but using the colors to propel himself and following the road to find civilization he finally found a town.<p>Before he even noticed the people he saw so many different colors here than in the forest. It was beautiful in an artfully messy way. People seemed to have a small bundle of colors inside them like the plants and animals he’s seen so far. They all had small wisps of color flowing off of them but some had marginally bigger groupings of color in them than the rest, but not by a large amount but just a bit more than the majority.</p><p>He stopped on the edge of the town just taking it all in, but the moment was ruined when a person walked right through him. It was an odd feeling for sure but not horrible. </p><p>‘Wait, does this mean I can’t interact with people? Am I just supposed to float around with no interaction at all? That's going to get depressing and lonely fast. No, I have to look on the bright side. At least my habit of people watching won’t be seen as creepy if they can’t see me looking at them… Wait, that sounds <i>really</i> creepy ugh nevermind.’</p><p>With a mental sigh he still headed into the town to find someone who he could interact with. Who knows he might actually find something or someone that could help him.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Exploring</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I have nothing much to say here except thanks for reading my dudes. &lt;3</p><p>Minor edits on 1/21/2021</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There was <i>no one</i> he could interact with. When he tried to touch someone he went right through them, he tried to pick up a rock to throw at a window (don’t ask) it didn’t work though he was able to wiggle the pebble but that took everything he had, and he could not talk to anyone no matter how hard he tried to talk. Then again he didn’t exactly have a mouth in the first place so that should have been expected. </p><p>So here he was laying down in a playground in the middle of the night sulking about his failures. He tried to be positive really but given he couldn’t talk to anyone he was getting pretty sad. And he was already touch starved from his last life, and now he can’t even hug anyone. He loves cuddling and hugging it was a rare treat for him, but now that means jack shit in this hell. Maybe he is in hell and that’s why he was dragged away from the light. Fan-fucking-tastic.</p><p>He sighed and slowly slid down the slide like a lump of depressed oobleck. Sitting on the edge of the slide he stared down at the wooden chips covering the ground and thought about his situation. He could wiggle the pebble but he was extremely tired after that so he should try and practice interacting with objects. After all it might have just been tiring because it was the first time he’s done something like this, and he needs to have something to do to distract himself anyways so it's a win win situation.</p><p>Looking at one chip of wood with all the focus he had he did his best to will it to move. It wiggled and then stopped moving. Now he was tired and sad, great. </p><p>Thinking about how he moved the chip just confused him. When he tried to use his color or his will to move it the same thing would happen weirdly enough it was just harder to will it to happen rather than just using his color. But they both ended in failure. There has to be something else to this. He looked around as if an answer would pop out at him, but luckily for him he had what he felt was a stroke of genius. Looking at the grass growing in between the wood chips he focused on its colors since they could be used to move himself, maybe he could use them to move the wooden chip.</p><p>Now pumped up he moved his color to interact with the grasses to try color to control it. He infused his color into the plants color, and slowly but surely part of his color mixed with the plants color. Then he tried mentally flex his mixed color causing it to squirm oddly.</p><p>'It works! It is slow and sluggish moving but I’m moving the grasses color!’</p><p>It was like controlling a weird wiggly limb that was hard to coordinate. He moved it in a tentacle like fashion and wrapped it around the wooden chip. And it rose up into the air a couple of inches. </p><p>‘Alright time to see how hard I can throw it.’</p><p>Doing his best to wind it up he threw it as hard as he could. It arched up in the air a couple of feet and then it fell onto the ground. Success! It wasn’t far but it was better than nothing. </p><p>‘It’s a good thing these colors are basically in everything, but I have yet to find something with as large a grouping of color as me. Maybe someone with more colors can see me or at least interact with me.’</p><p>With new determination thrumming through his being he got up to explore some more. After all he hasn’t even figured out where he is or what the date is, but based on passing conversions he didn’t pay too much attention to they were speaking English.</p><p>Looking around he starts to float along the road to look for signs of where he is. From what he can tell it looks like a small town or maybe the correct term is village. The terminology isn’t that important, and he continued looking for road signs.</p><p>After a little while he finally found a sign that said he was in the village of Yorkley. </p><p>‘Where is this town? It sounds British but I could be wrong.’</p><p>He was a bit agitated by his lack of knowledge. He was good at many things but geography was not one of those things.</p><p>‘Honestly memorizing the fifty states and their capitals was tedious.’ And it may have been something he cheated on when he was quizzed on it, but it’s not like his teacher knew in the first place or would ever know. Besides he knew them now just not then.</p><p>He floated back along some of the roads leading out of the town of Yorkley to find some more signs to get a better idea of where he is. After a bit he found a sign saying he was headed towards the Forest of Dean. At least he knows where he woke up now.</p><p>He hummed to himself as he thought. The name sounds familiar but he couldn’t place it... Oh! Isn’t that where some scenes from Harry Potter were filmed, well that’s neat. I think a scene from Star Wars was also shot there. I wonder how many other movies have used that forest to film, it is a beautiful forest after all.</p>
<p></p><div>
  <p> *** </p>
</div>By the time he was done drifting back to Yorkley the sun was rising again in the sky and people were getting ready for their jobs or to head off to school. He admired the sunrise for a bit as he hadn’t really looked at one in a while with how busy he used to be he didn’t have the time before.<p>He saw some cars on the street driving to their destinations, and after people watching for a bit decided to follow one. At a stop sign he grabbed onto the top of a car to hold on, and be driven to the person's destination. Just watching the scenery going by was very relaxing and reminded him just how much he used to love looking at different types of sceneries.</p><p>The car pulled up to a building with a sign saying Yorkley Primary School, and the woman inside dropped off two kids he thinks are hers, but he could be wrong.</p><p>He decides this is a great time to observe people's colors closely. Glancing at them it looks like the colors only seem to only give off faint wisps of color, but when you look closely they seem to move along with what he thinks are their emotions. Since these people look very close, and when they hug their colors twirl around each other and flutter happily. It is honestly kind of cute.</p><p>Their color types are also very close as they all have varying shades of blue and similar textures, but the mothers colors seem a bit more complex. And with a lack of a better term it feels fuller, or heavier, maybe denser. There’s just more in the mother than the kids. Maybe colors grow with people as they get older? It would make sense.</p><p>The kids colors are very similar but a bit different. The little girl has a more wet sand texture to her color and the little boy’s texture feels like soft dirt. It even smells like freshly watered soil. Some of the other kids Vallen can see have some interesting looking colors that are close to their parents' colors with some variations as well.</p><p>He pokes the little boy’s color and the kid shivers a little. Maybe he can interact with people like this? He won’t test it out here though he’s not about to use children as guinea pigs.</p><p>‘Schools normally write the day's date on the board right? So kids can write the date on any homework they're assigned to better organize it. Yeah I think that’s a thing. I better head in to find out today's date.’</p><p>He floats into the office of the school to get an idea of how things work here. Though his attention is quickly caught by the only computer on the desk in the front office. It’s so… square like a really old computer. It looks well taken care of, but it’s seen some minor wear and tear. It also has a color around it but it feels far smoother than any other colors he’s felt this far</p><p>He looks up at the light bulb in the ceiling and it has a similar color to the computer, It might be because of the shared trait of electricity. The colors in it are a bit different than the old computer, but they're both as smooth as glass. </p><p>He pulls some of the color from the office plant on the windowsill and pokes the light bulbs color. </p><p>It’s hard to get through its odd smooth texture, and trying to move it feels unlike every other color he has messed with. Once the plant’s color finally seeps into a small crack in its smooth shell like texture it spreads quickly. It reminds him of food coloring being dropped into water. When it spreads throughout the light bulb its color and texture feel like it's breaking to pieces right before the light bulb pops.</p><p>‘Oops, well that was rude of me.’</p><p>He couldn’t clean it up though since that would just waste his energy. So he flees the crime scene and goes through a door into a classroom that are full of children talking before classes start for the day.</p><p>Looking around he finds the day's date on the top left corner of the chalkboard 15/09/1986.</p><p>‘You know that explains the weird hairstyles and clothing.’ He thinks absentmindedly. </p><p>He starts to slowly sink onto the floor in deep thought looking as if he is trying to mimic a puddle. </p><p>‘So not only did I get run over, wake up in a forest without a body, see weird color things, and get moved across the pond to jolly old England, BUT I also apparently traveled back in time thirty four years because things just weren’t weird enough.’</p><p>He wishes he had a body just so he could cradle his face in his hands, and think about how in the hell he got into this mess. </p><p>‘Was I a horrible person in a past life? Did a blow up a bridge with thousands of people on it? Perhaps murder some orphans? Why out of every situation I could be in am I in this one?’</p><p>But thinking about his situation brought up a thought he has been doing his best to ignore with his ideas and plans. It is a habit he will not be breaking anytime soon, but ignoring it didn’t get rid of the annoyingly persistent thought.</p><p>‘I’m never going to see my dad again aren’t I…’</p><p>It was something he has been trying to put off thinking about by shoving it into the farthest corner of his mind, but he just couldn’t stop thinking about his dad now that he started. His dad all alone because he <i>left him</i>. He’s never going to see him again, or have him tell him cheesy dad jokes, he’s never going to be able to hug him again, he’s never going to help him out at his car repair shop, he’s-</p><p>He quickly pulled himself together midthought. He couldn't have a break down here even if he knew no one could see him. The feeling of eyes grated on him. It just felt wrong to think about these things around other people.</p><p>He pulled himself sluggishly out the classroom door to find somewhere secluded, maybe a janitor's closet it might be empty or an empty classroom. It'll have to be good enough.</p><p>Finally finding an empty classroom he pushed himself through the space between the crack between the door and the floor. Taking time to open the door will use up time and energy he doesn’t have. He looks around for someplace small to go into right now, he needs someplace small now.</p><p>Seeing an empty cubby he shoved himself in there curled up as tight as he could.</p><p>And oh he hadn’t thought about <i>everything</i> he left behind because he knew he would do this, and act like a weak child. He curled in tighter on himself. </p><p>He’s so pathetic</p><p>It just hurts so <i>much</i>.</p><p>There’s nothing here for him; he is just an invisible spectre in the past that gets tired every time he tries to move anything. </p><p>He has nothing, he doesn’t even have a body anymore. Even if it was hard to take care of his skin he wants it back that was always pale from staying inside reading, his black hair that made him think of his dad every time he looked at it, his long fingers that his friends would jokingly call piano fingers, his nails he always kept cut short and neat, his gangly limbs he was almost done growing into, and his voice. He misses being able to even make small talk.</p><p>He wishes he had hands to clench into a tight fists pushing his short nails into the palms of his hands to snap him out of his pathetic pity fest, or to grab onto his hair and curl into such a tiny ball that it hurt, some lungs just to lose his breath, he just wants to heave out all of his emotions and <i>stop feeling so bad</i>.</p><p>Maybe he did die and this is his hell. He worked so hard to have a future to look forward to making himself a son to be proud of, but he lost it all when he died before he even got to do anything with his life. Invisible and forgotten.</p><p>I don’t remember my mom but my dad did, and it hurt him horribly when he lost her. Now he just lost his only child.</p><p>Vallen’s mind began to drift tiredly after thinking about the many things he wanted to ignore slowly falling into a restless sleep.</p>
<p></p><div>
  <p> *** </p>
</div>Coming back into consciousness was something Vallen did not want to do at the moment so he was annoyed when he started to wake up even when he was trying to fall back asleep. He was tired from poking at emotional wounds that had yet to even start healing yesterday.<p>Uncurling from his spot in the cubby, he looked out the window to try and guess the time.</p><p>The sun was setting so it looks like he spent the entire day taking a depression nap to avoid thinking about things he wanted to ignore right now. He did his best to shove everything in a dark corner of his mind to deal with later. After all he still has things to explore, stuff to think about, and tests to do that will be helpful in the long run and as a bonus distract him.</p><p>He floated up to the window just to take in the beautiful sunset and relax. Vallen squinted at the window wondering if he could go through it or at least through the small cracks since he did squeeze through a small space to get here so he knows it is possible.</p><p>Preparing himself as best as he could he backed up and charged the window to see if he could go through it. When he hit the window he felt like an egg being thrown at a wall. At least it didn’t hurt, but looking through the window some parts of him did phase through the window. Just not most of him, but still progress was progress. He’ll have to practice that later since right now he just wanted to get outside. He squeezed through the small crack between the window and the windowsill and into the cool air.</p><p>Hovering outside the window he enjoyed feeling the wind flowing through him.</p><p>Now that he thought about it he was able to go without sleeping yesterday but today he slept the entire day. Maybe he only needed to sleep occasionally? It could also be that he doesn't need to sleep at all which sounds incredibly useful since too much time is wasted sleeping when he could be doing something productive.</p><p>Gliding upwards in idle curiosity of how high he could fly, and getting a better view of his surroundings while doing so. Seeing the oddly shaped squares and rectangles showing where one farm began and the other ended reminded him of being in a plane looking out the window at the ground. Looking around in the air he was able to see some birds flying around that were easy for him to spot since their color is easy for him to find.</p><p>He drifted over towards a blackbird fluttering its wings maybe to fly home for the day. Curious to see how close he could get to the bird he started to fly next to it with it not showing any signs of noticing him.</p><p>‘This little bird is kind of cute. One good thing I suppose of being invisible is the ability to observe wildlife without being seen. I hope I get to see its nest.’</p><p>So with nothing better to do he decided to follow the little blackbird back to its home towards the Forest of Dean. To make things easier for his little bird friend he did his best to try and make an updraft for the bird to glide on to help it conserve some of its energy by using his will. Instead some of the colors floating around in the air. It also doubled as practice for Vallen, and luckily it didn’t take much energy to move air. It was much harder trying to move the pebble with his will alone. He should practice doing more things with air. It could prove to be useful, and it’s better to be over prepared than underprepared.</p><p>Thinking about all the ways he could practice his abilies he became more motivated to work hard and get answers about his situation. He couldn’t sit around doing nothing even if there is no one else to hold him accountable for being lazy. It just felt wrong to not be working on something.</p><p>The bird also seemed to be pleased with catching a good updraft so it didn’t have to work as hard as it normally did when it had to flap its wings.</p><p>It was a peaceful feeling being in the sky with air flowing through him, a beautiful sunset on the horizon, and a forest in the distance with beautiful plants Vallen will have fun looking at trying to identify them. He just needs to look on the bright side of things. After all, not every that has happened so far is all bad.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Experimenting</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry for the wait on this one I was stuck on it for the <i>longest</i> time. Writers block has become my mortal enemy. Q-Q</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Vallen reached the blackbird’s nest the sky was a deep navy blue with the sun almost completely hidden from view. </p><p>From what he knows the nest of a blackbird is surprisingly strong and this one is no different with tightly interwoven pieces of dried grass, hardened mud holding it all together, and the mud tightly cementing it onto the branches of the tree. All in all it looks like a nest that could survive a strong storm shaking the forest.</p><p>‘I wonder if I should sleep tonight or if I should wander around.’</p><p>Vallen contemplated his choices as the blackbird settled down into the nest to sleep the night away. He looked at the blackbird and the bird’s color settling down with the bird looking lethargic and tired. Maybe he should experiment with touching its color. When he touched that kids color the kid felt it and shivered so maybe he could do the same to this bird. If he is lucky he might be able to use it to communicate!</p><p>Slowly and carefully he extended his color to touch the bird’s. The instant the colors touched each other the bird shot up and looked around the nest ready to fly off at the slightest feeling of danger. </p><p>He tried even more carefully than before and attempted to make his color feel more comfortable for the bird rather than his natural odd heat wave looking color. His color actually ended up changing a bit with what he wanted, but it only changed a bit making his color feel softer feeling more like a soft warm blanket right out of the dryer. He could almost swear he smelt hot cinnamon rolls and fresh laundry. Honestly he’s just happy his idea worked out.</p><p>The blackbird who was ready to fly away quickly started to calm down, and its ruffled feathers started to go back into a calm resting position. It was still looking around, but not looking for a threat but rather what had made it feel so oddly comfortable and relaxed. He probably couldn't do this with a human though since they would be scared either way feeling something they couldn’t explain even if it felt nice.</p><p>Eventually the bird started to settle back down into its nest shuffling around until it found a comfortable position and started to fall asleep. </p><p>Vallen was speechless; he was able to convey happy and comforting feelings to this blackbird. This opens up an opportunity for alternative communication. Although what he thought before still stands. A human would not calm down so quickly after an alien feeling appearing in their mind like the blackbird did, but it was a start.</p><p>He just needed to figure out how to speak with emotions instead of words. Maybe he could convey words or concepts with complexly layered emotions to talk to people. Though that would be after a lot of practice since he barely knows how to convey simple emotions.</p><p>Looking over at the nest the blackbird is comfortably sleeping and it looked to be feeling safe and content. It was nice to see how much the bird trusted him even if it really couldn’t tell he was there, but it was his color that calmed it down so he’ll count it. </p><p>‘Maybe I should name the bird since I might stay around here for a while practicing my color manipulation and my emotion projection thing that I need to practice more with the animals in the forest. Since humans would freak out with foreign feelings popping up in their minds, and they might tell other people. Though they would be thought of as weird or mentally unsound if they did that.’</p><p>Looking around for inspiration for what to name his little feathered friend he ends up looking back at the blackbird.</p><p>‘Well, It’s not exactly creative but I think Noir would be a good fit being a black bird and all.’</p><p>When he said the name in his head a small wisp of color manifested and touched the blackbird's color, and after a few seconds started to combine with it. Vallen was shocked to see this happen. Was a name so important that it would fuse with a being's color? What if someone names a bird they see on the street would that bird’s color fuse with that name or would the color reject it? Maybe the name fused with the blackbird because he calmed it down with his own color?</p><p>He’ll have to see if this will happen with other animals. Getting up off the branch and looking around for animals. He noticed that even when it was dark outside he could still see. Everything was filled with the odd colors that he could see, and along with that he could still see everything in the forest normally even at night. Luckily, it wasn't a huge difference from seeing in the daytime.</p><p>He left the nest to go look around for another animal to do his tests on. As he was leaving he felt a bit more aware of the nest he just left than he should have been. Focusing on this new feeling to find out what it is ended up with him seeing the nest even though he wasn’t there. Which is the weirdest out of body experience he’s had since losing his body. He looked around a bit more curious about what this was, and he noticed he was looking through Nior’s color. He was even able to move Noir some. With more practice he suspects he could completely control Noir with ease. But right now he didn’t want to be rude and wake Noir up for some tests he could do in the daytime.</p><p>‘Well, it looks like names are <i>extremely</i> important. Maybe all people have this connection with the ones who name them, but since they can’t do anything with the colors nothing happens with this connection? But what happens if they change their name would the colors fused within them change as well? If you can change your name does the connection from your previous name stay? How would I even test that? Maybe I could hang around a courtroom waiting for someone to change their name.’</p><p>It was an illogical plan though so he would have to shelf that line for thought for now. Once he reached the ground of the tall tree under the nest he wanted to see if he could move in a different way rather than floating in the air as a formless blob.</p><p>He was able to control his color to change its feeling so maybe he could change its shape as well. He would need to do something simple so he could keep his new shape without letting it go. A tube shape seems pretty simple so imagining a snake as a reference he felt himself start to elongate into a still invisible form resembling a long tube made out of his color. Sadly he more closely looked like a big worm than a snake, but no one was here to correct him so fuck it he was in a snake like form.</p><p>He tried to move like a snake wiggling side to side to get a good grip on the ground to move forward. His movements were jerky and sluggish since it was the first time he had tried this, but after a moment of looking like a snake having a seizure he started to move. He thinks he was using the friction of his color against the other colors in the ground to move, but he could also be interacting with the physical world a bit and using the ground to push against to move. Perhaps it was a mix of both?</p><p>Looking around at the colors in the forest to find an animal he noticed something about the colors and everything else he was seeing. When he looked around he wasn’t just seeing with his eyes since he didn’t have any. It was more like he was feeling around with his colors in such a way that it mimicked eyesight that wasn’t affected by light since he could see at night. Maybe he could try and expand his “eyesight” to see more colors, and everything else. It sounded useful, and if he worked on it maybe he could get 360 degrees of vision or see through walls!. </p><p>Focusing on the feelings of the colors all around him he did his best to try and feel more and see more. Which he quickly regretted by the sudden pain and overstimulation that filled his form. </p><p>‘Oh <i>holy shit</i> oh <i><b>fuck</b></i> I have never felt a pain that strong in my entire <i>life</i>, and I never want to again.’</p><p>He shivered with the aftershocks of the throbbing agony racking his form.</p><p>‘I guess this is just another thing I’ll have to explore and practice later <i>very</i> carefully.’</p><p>Groaning mentally he started to look for colors attached to animals within his range, careful not to hurt himself again.</p>
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  <p> *** </p>
</div>Slithering around for a while on the forest floor he finally got the hang of moving like a snake (not a worm). He should try other forms of movement as it would help him learn how to finely control his colors until it becomes muscle memory. Is it still called muscle memory if he doesn't have muscles though?<p>Shrugging the question off as he found a small burrow with some animal’s colors in it in the ground and he focused on what he came here to do. He found it ironic he was mimicking a snake when he found what he assumed to be a rabbit’s burrow. </p><p>He creeped carefully into the burrow looking into every crevice as he went in deeper and deeper. In the deepest part of the rabbit hole he finally ran into a small group of rabbits sleeping together. Their colors were all mixed and intertwined in their sleep looking similar to a blanket covering them. </p><p>‘Aw, they’re so cute. I hope they don’t get hurt in my tests.’</p><p>It was the circle of life after all. Predators eating prey and so on, but if they do end up dying he will do his best to make it comfortable and painless. He wasn’t heartless, just pragmatic. If he could make a bird in distress calm down he should be able to do the same thing to a panicked rabbit so they don’t end up needlessly hurt.</p><p>Picking a rabbit at random he quickly thought of a name to give it.</p><p>‘Alright, your name is Theo.’</p><p>But unlike with Noir the colors that was the new name didn’t seem to take hold in the rabbit and faded without bonding to the rabbit. </p><p>‘Maybe it’s because I don’t have a close bond with this rabbit because with Noir I did spend some time with Noir up in the air, and I calmed Noir down with my color when I startled the bird even if I really didn’t need to. And I will admit I think Noir is adorable which may have endeared him to me.’</p><p>He tried to think of other reasons his name didn’t stick humming a light tune as he did so. </p><p>‘It could be that since I touched my color to Noir’s color a small bond of some sort was made. Or it could also be a mix of our prolonged proximity <i>and</i> having our colors touch.’</p><p>He felt the strongest urge to grip his hair in frustration, and he would have if he had any. The reason his name didn’t stick could be any number of things that was quickly put in a large list in his head. Maybe it’s because when he named Noir he cared for him a bit and thought it was cute, but with the rabbit he only thought of it as a test? Or he can only name one entity at a time? No, that wouldn't make sense. I think people get their names from their parents, and they have the ability to name multiple entities so why couldn’t I?</p><p>...Maybe that is only with humans, and he certainly can’t be a human with his current state of being.</p><p>‘I just hope I can name multiple things at once because I’ll cry if I wasted it on a bird. But then again everything I’ve been thinking are just theories going off of scant amounts of information.’</p><p>Anything he thinks up is useless without some hard proof to back it up. Maybe he has to find out why names are important in the first place before anything about this makes sense? Sadly he can only do experiments to test the theories popping up in his head at the moment.</p><p>He looked back at the rabbit he tried to name, and he got ready to send out some of his color to touch the rabbits color gently like he did with Noir. Since he has been near it for a while while he was thinking, and if they touch colors it may work out like it did with Noir. It does not hurt that it also looks cute, but then again he thinks that about most animals he sees.</p><p>‘I should really stop rambling and just do the tests I came here to do.’</p><p>He gathered his focus again being aware of his color of how it felt, its shape, and keeping his current shape he only changed the feel of his magic to match what he did to calm Noir down, and he reached out to the rabbits color like he was petting it.</p><p>The rabbit twitched slightly in its sleep, but nothing other than that happened. </p><p>‘Alright your name is Theo.’</p><p>Another wisp of color tried to fuse with the rabbit's color, but it failed again. If Vallen had hair right now he’d be pulling on it in frustration. At least on the bright side of things not having a body is solving his bad habit of pulling on and playing with his hair.</p><p>‘Why didn’t that work? Maybe it’s because I don’t care about this rabbit? That’s probably the problem, and I am after all only looking at this as a test. Intentions might matter when giving something a name because getting a name seems important so getting a name only for a test just might not work. It might be a form of self defense from the rabbits color so something that doesn’t care about it doesn’t get power over it, and because I know from naming Noir I have power over it.’</p><p>He stared at the rabbit for a few more seconds miffed about his failed tests.</p><p>‘I might be looking too deep into this naming thing though just because it involves these colors I can see. I just hope my ideas so far are on the right track.’</p><p>He thought some more trying to come up some other reason his name wouldn’t latch onto the rabbit’s color.</p><p>‘Well I don’t think I’ll be able to name this rabbit anytime soon so I should do some other tests.’</p><p>Vallen thought for a bit on what to do next before he was struck by sudden inspiration. </p><p>‘Oh! Can I use a rabbit’s color to control them? I know I could do it with Noir from a distance so maybe if I don’t have a connection with someone's color I can still control them, but only up close? To be honest I don’t really like this test but it’s better to know ahead of time what I can do so there aren’t any surprises down the line.’</p><p>Getting ready to touch colors again he makes his magic soft and comfortable before trying to mix his colors with the rabbit’s to move it around.</p><p>Mixing their colors together was something amazing to see. They looked comparable to a clear pearlescent liquid swirling around in a cup of coffee, but it smelt like cut daisies and wet fur.</p><p>He readied his color and tried to move the rabbit’s color to move the rabbit itself. The instant he tried to control the other color his color just slipped out, and it shot awake looking panicked which caused the other rabbit to wake up in a fright.</p><p>Vallen just sighed about another failed test, and decided to go back to Noir’s nest for the rest of the night to sleep off his failures.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Ah jeez this chapter no comedy <i>or</i> action. I am a disgrace to all writers. Hopefully my muse will let me write something a bit more interesting for the next chapter.</p><p>Also do you think I should add a tag for all the cussing Vallen does? I swear I didn't mean for him to have such a potty mouth it just happened. (╥﹏╥)</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Controlling Entropy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I just noticed that every chapter title so far had a word with the letter E at the beginning so I just had to continue the trend. Also my muse held a gun to my head and told me I had to write this write this at 5am. (tbh I normally stay up this late anyways)</p><p>Hope you guys enjoy this chapter!╰(*°▽°*)╯</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Vallen slowly awoke to the sun just cresting over the hills, and the sounds of bird songs in the trees. He looked at the empty nest next to him and decided to look for Noir. He could practice tracking them down through their connection today.</p><p>‘Oh, I’ve just realized I don’t know the gender of my new feathered friend.’</p><p>Thinking back on all the books he’s read he doesn’t have a lot of books he has read just for fun. Sadly, that means he hadn’t read much about birds. Most of it was for studying or for staying ahead in his classes. He didn’t do a lot in general just for enjoyment, it’s kind of sad looking back on it. </p><p>Whatever he can go to a library after hours and read through the books about birds to read about blackbirds, and the differences between boys and girls in that species. Right now though he should look for Noir.</p><p>He started to focus on the connection he can feel in the back of his mind. And he starts to follow it to pinpoint Noir’s location. After a few minutes of getting the hang of even using this new connection he finally finds his friend's location. Luckily it’s not too hard to follow the bond.</p>
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  <p> *** </p>
</div>A little while later quite far from the nest he finds Noir pecking at the ground looking for bugs or nuts. Meanwhile Vallen can see their colors swirl and swish around them showcasing the birds attention to everything around it on the look out for predators ready to fly away at a second's notice.<p>Watching a bird peck and flit around is cute at first, but it quickly got boring for Vallen who is used to constant stimulation whether it was through reading or working with his hands. Maybe he could try and communicate with Noir again now that they’ve eaten a good bit. So he doesn’t think it would be too rude to try and talk to the bird now.</p><p>Vallen focused on the connection between the two of them, and tried to send down a simple emotion to Noir. Happiness seems like a good one to use and really Vallen is happy to have someone to be with deep in the Forest of Dean rather than be alone. Even if his company is just a bird.</p><p>Noir jumped as if shocked by electricity, and quickly looked around for the disturbance. It was important to note here that Noir’s feathers were not ruffled and was not breathing quickly with adrenaline and panic. A step in the right direction.</p><p>He doesn’t really know what to do from here but he’ll figure it out. <i>Probably</i>.</p><p>Right as he was brainstorming he felt something coming from the connection on Noir’s side.</p><p>|Curiosity|?|</p><p>He was thunderstruck! Was the connection they had two ways! He felt so happy he just had to express it to Noir.</p><p>|Happiness|Joy|!|</p><p>Noir looked about and ended up looking around the area Vallen was in. He noticed the blackbird had a simmer in its eyes like an oil spill on black tarmac.</p><p>He wafted closer to Noir and tried to lightly poke them.</p><p>Noir jumped back and ruffled their feathers as if they... no the bird was a boy, and he didn’t know how he knew but Vallen just did. Noir looked about as confused as he felt.</p><p>He pecked the air with its small yellow beak where Vallen was floating.</p><p>|Surprise|Wonder|Confusion|</p><p>Noir hopped side to side as if trying to figure out what was happening, but as he was just a bird he didn’t have a clue as to what was going on.</p><p>Vallen watched as Noir’s color twisted and wiggled around him, and it seemed to get a bit denser as the feelings and emotions that came from his friend became more solid and coherent. </p><p>|Closeness|Belonging|Pleased|</p><p>Noir was now looking exactly where Vallen was hovering.</p><p>‘What the fuck.’</p><p>|Startled|Chastising| </p><p>Vallen would have jumped if he could at the sudden mind message thing.</p><p>‘Can Noir understand what I am thinking in words or is he just getting the feeling of my thoughts?’</p><p>|Confusion|Overwhelmed| </p><p>Vallen was also confused and overwhelmed, but as the person who made this bond he has to take responsibility for this and help Noir. He sent some more good feelings to help Noir with the many confusing emotions he felt from Vallen</p><p>|Caring|Compassion|</p><p>His new friend did the blackbird equivalent of cooing at him, but high pitched in the way most blackbird songs were.</p><p>‘Maybe I could lessen the strength of our bond to put less strain on Noir?’</p><p>|Confusion|</p><p>Vallen sighed. ‘I completely understand that feeling.’</p><p>He focused on the connection between them both and tried to get a better feeling for it. It felt like a string of color connected them both, but it just wasn’t visible. Perhaps if he put a light veil or block over it that would dampen the connection? It obviously wasn’t doing this before so maybe when he messed with it something just clicked and allowed for a deeper level of communication? </p><p>Then there is also the fact that Noir’s color has become denser once the link, for lack of a better term, switched on.</p><p>‘I have no idea what is going on. Again!’</p><p>|?|Concern|</p><p>He looked back at Noir and saw him trying to do something to his colors with his beak.</p><p>‘Are you trying to… Preen me?’</p><p>|Agree|</p><p>‘Ah, well um thanks?’</p><p>Noir tweeted at him still with a pearlescent sheen in his eyes as he tried once again to preen Vallen. And then got increasingly upset when he couldn’t do it sadly as he was not in a physical body.</p><p>‘Actually Noir how can you see me right now?’</p><p>|Unsure|Apologetic|</p><p>‘Noir must be getting the meaning of my words at the very least, but I’m not sure if he understands the words themselves. I am almost positive I won’t be able to communicate with others as easily as I do with Noir since I have an easier time communicating using our link as a middle man’</p><p>|Disoriented|Dazed|</p><p>‘I should try and shield my thoughts from Noir to keep him from getting a headache.’</p><p>|Confused|Thankful|</p><p>‘No problem little buddy.’</p><p>Focusing on the bond was easier now that he has used it. The string of color felt strong, and he didn’t want to weaken it; he just wanted to make it harder for his more complicated thoughts to go to Noir and hurt him.</p><p>He imagined a dome around his thoughts keeping it contained all in one spot. He took a moment to center himself as this was important and something this crucial needs a solid foundation. A house built on rocks was sturdier than a house built on sand after all.</p><p>The shield around his thought was pretty solid if the panic he was getting from Noir was any indication. How would he make it so he could pick and choose what he sent to Noir in his head. </p><p>He pondered over what the best visualization was. Then it clicked the dome around his thoughts vaguely reminded him of those papers with the anatomy of a cell on it with the big dome around the cells anatomy inside. The dome around his thoughts could be thought of as a cell wall letting only certain things in and out. Everything inside the cell wall doesn’t need to be imagined as the parts of a cell since he might mix things up. Besides he only needs to focus on the cell wall for this task.</p><p>The link is inside the shield but now the link goes through a filter in the cell wall that he needs to sort out what it does. He thinks that anything he consciously wants to say to Noir will successfully travel through the cell wall onto the bond into Noir’s mind. Then anything Noir wants to communicate will just come down the bond since Vallen doesn't know if Noir is smart enough to pick and choose his thoughts to send.</p><p>Anything he has done before was done with the power of his will and the colors so he assumes a similar thing is happening in his mind.</p><p>‘Alright let's see if this works.’</p><p>He waits a few seconds so feel if Noir sends something in response to his thought, but gets nothing in return. Just the panic of not being able to get his thoughts he guesses.</p><p>Then he tried to send some feelings through the filter onto the bond.</p><p>'|Reassurance|Apologetic|'</p><p>Noir perks up happily from where he was worriedly fluttering around him trying to get him to respond. He feels bad about worrying him so badly, but he needed to fix this sooner rather than later.</p><p>|Reprimand|Relived|Joyful|</p><p>He trills in excitement before flying up off the ground onto a branch. He was prey after all and being on the ground for so long grated on his instincts. </p><p>Vallen follows after him not wanting to be left alone after finding someone he can actually communicate with. Looking up through the canopy the sun has risen some more his internal clock guesses it is around 8am or so which means he was in his head for quite a bit since the sunrise happens at around 6 to 6:30am.</p><p>Now he really feels bad for how long he left Noir alone to worry about him. He’s just lucky a predator didn’t come along to see the bird as easy prey.</p><p>'|Apologetic|Sad|'</p><p>Noir did another high pitched tweet.</p><p>|Acceptance|Playful|</p><p>He started to quickly hop from branch to branch, but still slow enough to follow him. It’s one of the cutest things Vallen has seen since coming here.</p><p>'|Adorable|Amused|'</p><p>Noir seemed to stumble a bit at being called adorable so he ruffled his feathers in rebuke and started to move much faster through the trees.</p><p>Vallen started to chase after him while also being happy he could communicate simple words along with emotions with him.</p>
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  <p> *** </p>
</div>After some time spent playing chase, which was much more fun that it the right to be, Noir went back to the ground and sent a message while he did so.<p>|Hungry|</p><p>Noir started to flip over leaves and looked in nooks and crannies for bugs which he ate with vigor. It was a little nasty to see them wiggling around while he swallowed them. But he was an odd bodiless entity that saw weird things all the time so he didn’t really have too much room to judge.</p><p>If he was going to hang around him Vallen might as well help him look for bugs.</p><p>Using his color seeing abilities he felt more in depth than he was seeing currently, but he did it very carefully thinking about the massive migraine that gripped him the last time he tried to mess with his color sight.</p><p>Going close to the ground he did his best to find colors different from the ground and felt bug-like.</p><p>The ground's color was much <i>more</i> than he thought before. Now that he is really looking, the ground’s color feels <i>strong</i>. He briefly wonders what it would feel like to be in the ground having that <b>color</b> all around him.</p><p>Having nothing stopping him he does just that, after all he needs to practice his ability to faze through stuff. The ground seems like a good start.</p><p>The moment he is covered by the ground it feels like the color just soaking the ground welcomes him. It is what he would imagine what a hug from his mother would feel like. Warm, safe, and so comfortable he doesn’t want to leave. It’s comparable to getting into a warm bed after spending the day outside in the cold.</p><p>He mentally shakes his head and focuses on his task of finding bugs close to the surface for Noir to eat. He extends his color through the ground interacting with the ground's color almost playfully until he finds what he’s looking for. As he moves through the ground the colors around him filter through him and they fill him with a comfortable thrumming energy. Similar to the feeling of having a nice full stomach after a big dinner.</p><p>He reaches the area where he saw some bug-like colors and they are all wiggly and nasty. Noir would love to eat these.</p><p>'|Pleased|Food|'</p><p>His message catches the attention of Noir and he can see his colors moving above ground looking for him.</p><p>He forgot others can’t see the colors he can. He feels he might have gotten used to them too quickly, but they were a useful tool and fun to look at.</p><p>He pokes a piece of himself above ground to show Noir where he is, and an excited bird quickly comes over to him. He helps brush away the leaves to show the bugs which Noir eats with gusto.</p><p>Yet again yuck, but at least he is getting a good meal today.</p><p>‘Wait how long do blackbirds live. Fuck. I don’t know a lot about birds but I don’t think prey birds live too long. I wonder if his colors getting denser helped extend his life expectancy? I sure hope so.’</p><p>Looking up at the sky he saw the sun was nearing the horizon on the other side of the sky. If the sun was going to set soon they should go back to the nest so any predators won’t get the drop on Noir in the dark.</p><p>On the ground Noir was almost done eating which was good cause they should be leaving right about now. He nudged him using some of the energy from the ground to interact with the physical realm, and floated up bringing Noir’s attention to the sun slowly going down in the sky.</p><p>Noir abruptly saw what Vallen meant and flapped his wings and got to flying back to the nest for the night. Vallen followed Noir back, planning to explore more later that night.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I don't know why but I really liked writing this chapter even if it isn't plot heavy. And yet again I looked up waaaay too much about blackbirds. One day I hope I will be able to hold a tiny bird in my cupped hands while they nap I would lose my shit if I was able to do that. (❁´◡`❁)</p><p>Also was the transition to referring to the bird as an 'it' to 'them' then a 'he' natural? Since I wanted to show that Vallen started to care more about Noir.</p><p>Ps. since I am posting this really early in the morning there might be mistakes so please point them out if you see any.</p>
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